( Folks, it’s Sarissa. She’s posting about five am, and the hazy grey early morning light is all she has to work with. There’s hay in her hair. On the bale behind her slumbers a piglet. She’s got another in her lap.

Surprise, she’s in the barn. )

G’day g’day, tuning with an important philosophical question for all you good people of the network. I was gonna ask Saroula, but she locked me outta the house for making shitty jokes, and then I think she fell asleep before remembering to unlock the door.

( Is this the slight madness of not-enough-sleep, or is it regular Sarissa? It’s hard to say. )

So, okay, back to business. If a snail doesn’t have its shell is it…

( She plays a gentle drum roll on the sleepy piglet’s belly, and it makes a sleepy sound, moving to get comfy again. )

a) Naked
b) Homeless
or
c) Minimalist?

Important question, right? Feel free to slug it out as you enlighten me with your gastropodical opinions. And if someone can bring me a clean shirt and some coffee that’d be great. I could be out here a while.