maskormenace | Entries tagged with † arthur pendragon

March 2021

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WILL YOU HELP SAVE THE WORLD?

Mask or Menace is a panfandom urban 'superhero' genre DWRP game, where heroes, villains, and everyone in between seek to survive and thrive in a world loosely parallel to our own.

thirdstrike

[ The feed turns on to show what looks like-- well, a phone screen. It's 5:29 AM and Carl is "helpfully" holding his own cellphone up to the communicator screen, so that when it rolls over to 5:30, the network is treated to the loud blare of his bugle alarm. ]

Rise and shine, motherfuckers.

[ He lowers his phone, smirking into the screen now. Carl's dressed in a dark grey sweatsuit and looks entirely too bright-eyed and energetic for someone awake this early in the morning... and yet he is, and is thus now generously sharing the wealth. His thumb swipes over his phone screen to shut the alarm off, and then he sets it aside. ]

Don't worry, I'll keep this quick. [ Unless you live with him, in which case you're likely to start hearing that fucking alarm every single day at this same time. ] Know at least a few of you out there are probably hungover, too, as if it's not a fucking Thursday morning, but that's your problem-- can't expect me or any other functioning members of society to really give a shit, now can you? Fuck no.

[ Carl props the communicator up now so it continues recording, trained on him, but he's hands-free to step away for a second to put coffee on. ]

Now I already more or less got the run-down about this place, so I'll just cut to the chase before everyone falls back asleep: name's Carl Gallagher, and like I assume most of you, I turned up here with empty pockets and fuck all else to my name except the clothes on my back. Not here bitching about it, either, just figured I should pimp my hustle before I leave the house.

[ He turns on the stove burners to start readying breakfast for himself and his housemates, disappearing for just a couple seconds to find a skillet, which he then proceeds to crack four eggs into; even if he's woken up everyone in this poor house, at least they'll have food waiting for them while Carl's out on his morning run. ]

Looks like they hooked me up here helping to teach self-defense, which I'm fucking great at so if anyone needs a lesson, hit me up. I'll teach you shit you can only learn on the streets otherwise, so whether you wanna try bare-handed or learn how to use a weapon, I don't give a fuck. One-on-one? No problem either. Offer's open to all ages, affordable rates, and I'm even willing to negotiate payment plans-- just remember: Carl Gallagher. Satisfaction guaranteed every time.

You got any more questions just holla at me, we can talk more. [ And with that, he takes the list back and tips the camera a two-fingered salute, signing off. ] Later.

deadtective

I'm sure that someone will be flooding the network with existential garbage for the new soon enough, so I'm just going to skip all that bullshit. In a place like this it's just gonna tip into nihilism sooner or later anyway.

Everybody likes blind bags, right? Seems like they're pretty popular right about now; I guess getting random shit's kind of like spinning the wheel and praying that your luck isn't a total nightmare for the next twelve months. Just, you know. Less disappointing.

I've got a shit ton of car keys here with me right now. For a hundred bucks I'll send you a random key and the address where you can pick your new car of dubious quality up. No returns, so don't come bitching at me if it's a shitheap. Most of the people I took these from aren't exactly known for living lives of fucking luxury.

Offers expires tomorrow, so you better move fast. Cash only.

[attached is a photograph of a small mason jar filled with car keys as proof. working the graveyard shift at a gas station on New Years Eve was certainly a wild time.]

vanto

[The room behind Eli is decorated with a few Christmas lights and ornaments: a candy cane or two, some crystal stars, mistletoe. It's minimalistic but adequately festive for the Imperial household; at the edge of the room is a box and wrappings — this room has clearly just been decorated.

Eli runs a hand through his hair, nervous but content. There is a smear of red lipstick on his cheek that he has been trying to wipe off for forty minutes. This is his life now.]

I can't remember the last —week and a half? Two weeks?— very well. But I know that I caused some trouble as a, uh, glowing horse. With eight legs.

[Eli looks away from the camera, mouth pressed into a thin line.]

I'm sorry, and if you want me to pay or help fix anything please contact me. I don't know how else to make up for all the garden destruction.

[...]

And how do you fix cravings from being a horse? I walked by a flower shop and the roses looked really appetising.

functusofficio

[ Padme is, predictably, in rather official looking garb, but her settings are not as barren as they have been previously, her moving throughout the house as she speaks, wall hangings and candles making the place seem more comfortable. Her voice is warm and calm. ]

We have elections coming up here in Maurtia Falls, as I'm sure many of you have realized, to replace our previous Ambassador now that he has been successful in his bid to become Mayor. Congratulations to Mayor Baelish on his success, and I hope that we will all see the benefit of his advance in rank.

That brings us to an important question. What is it that the Imports want from their Ambassadors? In Maurtia Falls, in particular, but I would open this question to all Imports. Several have already stated their intent to run, and I hope have been speaking to those who will be affected by their leadership should they succeed, but I think it is an important question to ask in the open, especially after our recent mishaps and struggles as a community. While we may never find a single, unified goal, to listen to the voices of the people is the truest and most important job of an elected official in any world.

While I have considered running myself, I would not wish to do so without having first had an open and earnest conversation with the community about their desires and hopes for the position.

I also extend my sympathy to all those affected by these porter troubles. I hope that the situation will be resolved quickly, and that those we have lost come back to us soon. May we all have the strength to come through difficult times and see the hope on the other side.

[ Signing off. ]

aberranthubris

Dear ImPorts,
To Whom It May Concern:

Regarding the events that lead to the Porter acting up, we would like to issue an apology for our parts in it. We'd like to say that we never meant this to happen and we're truly sorry for the pains, aches and losses that have been occurring as a result.

We simply attempted communicating with the entity, Lachesis, that was believed to reside inside the Porter. The military and the scientists, who have been studying the Porter, gave us access to it and we did manage to gleam off some unexpected information in the process. There was no hostility expressed on our parts, we approached it with respect, carefully. However, as has been evident, the results were less than desirable. We're not trying to shy away from responsibility but to note that foreseeing this would have been impossible.

Therefore we'd like to warn anyone who is thinking of contacting the Porter in the future to not do it. There is no telling what might happen.

If you would like to review Kaneki's notes on the Porter, please follow this link. We will also try to address your concerns and questions the best we can.

Sincerely,
Professor Charles Xavier
Ken Kaneki

storyseeker

It's been a few days now, so I assume everyone's aware of all the weirdness that's been happening with people's powers. The thing is, it's not all happening at once, or to the same degree—some powers went haywire right away, others haven't seen much change.

The healers have that side of things covered, but I thought maybe if we track what's happening, whose powers are malfunctioning and in what ways, we could be in a better position to...

[Elena pauses and closes her eyes for a moment, visibly swaying as something comes over her.]

Help...

[Out of nowhere, a cut opens up on her forehead and a streak of blood runs down her face. Then a red spot appears on her shirt, and another, and another. And then she collapses, because the grenade shrapnel wounds she was ported in with have reappeared out of nowhere. Bad luck has dramatic timing.]

( ooc )

onlydoubts

So I'm sure most of you saw the network message about the Jedi made, last week. And the rebuttals made to that, over bwitter or through podcasts or over the network itself. This isn't one of those.

[ Hello, here's a face you might recall. Or not? Bodhi isn't all for public announcements like this, he's made one like this and the other was almost accidental. But he's had some Thoughts on recent events and wanted to make them known. ]

And I just wanted to say, that these come from people in the same galaxy. As myself. And if you wish to take that warning [ if you can call it that and not a blatant attempt to arise suspicion ] into account, that's fine -- there's nothing wrong with that. But I also wanted to say that we come from a place that has seen a lot of war. After the Jedi fell, something called the Empire rose, and they... you know what, that's not the point of this

[ deep breath ]

Anyways. Not all of us are wanting to bring our war here to you, or involve you in it. We shouldn't be trying to involve you in it, at all. To some of us -- to me, we can't go back to where we came from. I can't go back, this has become my home. Spending this time fighting... isn't how I want to use my time. And I hardly think I'm alone in that.

That's all I wanted to say on that.

[ and on a more positive note: ] I will say there's one thing I really do miss and it's being up there. Being grounded is something that I'm not entirely used to -- can't believe the closest I'll get to the stars again is watching others in it on TV.

[ Not at all bitter or jealous, nope. With a shake of his head, he switches the feed off. ]

flowerette

Hello, fellow imPorts.

[ Raina greets the camera with her ever-present charming smile. ]

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Raina. I've been an imPort for the past two and a half years now. And for all of that time, I've been involved in imPort cellular research -- studying us on a cellular level, trying to make sense of these nanites within us. I am pleased to announce that I've finally had a large breakthrough in terms of discerning the probable function and possible outcomes were we to extract nanites from ourselves entirely.

I've always operated based on the theory that as soon as we come through the porter, something within us changes on a molecular level. As many of you know, a few months ago there was an incident where a few of us found ourselves with unwelcome clones. I joined with a team of fellow imPorts to infiltrate Heaven Scent and was able to extract some vital research from their database. What all of this illuminated for me is more concrete proof of my theory.

I'll briefly go over what we do know about nanites for those who might be new or unaware. Every imPort is injected with them upon arrival. They are not the root cause of our powers, but they do allow for those powers to be altered or sometimes even nullified. They are also responsible for our mostly functional ability to revive from death. They have no effect on natives or even metahumans. And the reason behind this is a bit gruesome.

These clones of ours were infused with nanites of their own which largely allowed them to house our powers to near perfection. But on a molecular level, our clones were unable to handle the infusion of nanites in their blood for longer than a couple of months and after that time, these nanites started to eat them alive -- breaking them down on a cellular level and causing them to essentially disintegrate.

[ Raina pauses, glancing down at some of her own paperwork and rifling through it. ]

I've run multiple tests this past month of samples from both Heaven Scent and blood samples I managed to extract from clones during their brief, but memorable, time with us. My findings are all conclusive: we alone are the only ones who can house nanites because we alone have come through the porter and changed on a molecular level. And it is through these nanites that our powers are able to translate into what they are in this world. Meaning: without the nanites inside of us our abilities would become erratic, uncontrollable, and in all likelihood gone entirely. Nanites might not be responsible for our powers, but they are what enable us to use our powers the way we know them and without those to keep us anchored to this universe, there is a chance we would disintegrate the way our clones had when they were exposed to the nanites.

[ Looking up again, this time invitingly. ]

I would like to run some more tests to study this further. In order to do so, I am in need of samples. And by samples, I mean blood samples. If anyone is willing to donate to the cause, I promise it'll be worth your while.

[ A promise that sounds a lot more sensual than it should, and with a little wink -- Raina ends the feed. ]

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2017Acts of forgiveness has softened the imPort image -- in no small part because of the recent spats of violence and aggression directed against imPorts. But many are looking towards the future; excitement is beginning to ripple over the next Swearing-In. Rumor has it none other than Daenerys Targaryen is heading the event.

UNDER THE WEATHER
As seen on local Heropan television:
Newcomer imPort Eddison Tollett made his first sensation on the internet, right on his first day on the job at De Chima Channel Six News! His position as a weatherman led to some very interesting forecasts, while wearing some very heavy winter black clothing.

Some choice moments:

"Early morning you will get fog here. Congratulations on not seeing anything, I guess."

"This coming Sunday there will be rain. Then why bother calling it Sunday, are you trying to make things worst?"

And the ever controversial:

"Monday comes the chance of rain. All the gods like to piss on us all."

And piss they did.

KEN U D33G IT
As seen in celebrity gossip blogs and TMI Magazine:
Love is brewing: boss and employee - secret romance?

To everyone's surprise, imPort Ken Kaneki, known ghoul and coffee shop owner, was seen together with one of his employees, D33. Although little is known about the mysterious D33, the idea of a boss-employee relationship (as well as an inter-species relationship) has raised many eyebrows, and fans seem to be both quite amazed and surprised by the idea!

The two were seen at the cinema together viewing the hit movie, "Dusk", which many fans claim to be a sign of its own considering that the movie tells the tale of a forbidden and heated romance between a Vampire and a Human.

"I'm pretty sure I've seen them holding hands!" 16-year-old Vanessa Rogers says enthusiastically on a video uploaded to BlueTube under her account. Many photographs of Kaneki and D33 have been uploaded to the "Kennibals" website reporting this whole event, and they show the two exiting the theater once the movie was over and heading to the beach together.

Fans guarantee romance is in the air and late summer love will prevail!

[ Many pictures of Kaneki and D33 at the movies (while watching Twilight Dusk) and at the beach follow. ]

NAY, WE ARE BUTT MEN
As seen on television, in De Chima newspapers, Bwitter, and on Rumblr:
A larger than life homage to Ambassador Sam Merlotte’s derrière became a social media sensation overnight after it appeared outside of Merlotte’s under mysterious circumstances. The bronze statue, which immortalized the Ambassador’s naked bottom in stunning detail, has since been removed, but not before photos of locals paying tribute to the artwork went viral on bwitter under #ambASSador. Doctored pictures of the statue touring the world and even traveling through time and space have continued to surface long after the original work vanished, fueling wild speculation about its fate.

Will the statue return once its pilgrimage is complete? Only time will tell.

CARTOON NETWERK
As seen on Bwitter:
Rumor has it that a new animated show starring the uncanny likenesses of imPorts will be airing this fall. An alleged cast list has been leaked with the following names:
Don Smurfy
Sad Weeney
Mina Squelcher
Hinders
Juice Dane
Ron Soot
Sandy Bark
Tio Mando
Thrice
Red Ivy
Kaan Cannibal
Ripe Hide

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FULVOUS to EBURNEAN, because all is well if you squint.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

REMINDER: please use the designated text box when writing our your submissions.

carbonfrozen

[The video opens on a taxi, broken down beside a Maurtia Falls sidewalk, and off in the periphery, someone in a hoodie quickly disappearing behind a corner. That's probably because of the neon-red stylized dick spray-painted on the side of the car, or the angry lime-green THIEF on the hood.

Only one is related to the fact that an imPort's driving this car. The other is not, there are other cars nearby that have also gotten dicks spray-painted in obnoxiously bright colors, though only the taxi has any additional graffiti.

The camera turns, and Han's shaking out his hand, the knuckles bruised up like he'd punched someone just a few minutes ago.]

And that's the third time in as many days I've gotten hit by someone who can't draw human body parts to save their own life. [Yes. That's what he's going to complain about. The fact that someone drew a dick on his car, and not the anti-imPort slogan. It is true, he is a thief, is he supposed to be offended by that?] Fine, I got the message: I won't leave my car unattended in Maurtia Falls anymore.

[A huff.] You'd think they'd at least know what it looks like, right?

fehus

( IMAGE )

not bullshit. if you or a friend are having issues feeling safe or calm or whatever hit me up here or at my private line, i guess.

uh if you're having more physical than mental issues with this shitshow like, getting punched out in a riot or pushed down some subway stairs, i can help with that too, but i'm also assuming everybody knows about bandaids and/or the hospital.

obvious statement: watch yourselves out there.

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 20TH, 2017Congress has yet to return from its August recess, but singular interviews indicate that they have heard the woes of their native constituents regarding imPort conflict. There are talks that some action might come of this. But maybe it's all talk? Then again... A lot of natives are questioning why the government allowed for a Swear-Out, especially apparent on Bwitter. The government released a brief memo to the press stating that imPorts have equal rights, to include the right of assembly, but some members of society still seem unconvinced. Limited public pressure might be coming down on Congress and, in turn, specifically Senator Mitchell Hundred.

ARMED TO THE NINES (MINUS ONE)
As seen on Sorbes Business Magazine, De Chima news outlets:
An investigation is underway in De Chima after reports that break-ins at Crake & Orix Tech and Anoxia INC have resulted in the theft of several prototypes and patents the companies were working on. Police are tight-lipped about details, but they have revealed that the perpetrators are currently at large and it's not believed imPorts are involved. It's unclear at this time if these two thefts were linked or coincidental. Businesses in De Chima are advised to review their security in case the thefts continue.

MACA-CRONI
As seen in local Maurtia Falls news and imPort-centric online forums:
Once more into the breach! Infamous street artist bElish has struck again! This time with a fifteen foot mural unveiled in the center of the Maurtia Falls financial district. Macaroni on canvas depicting the beloved Petyr Baelish's face, wearing a disgruntled expression. Because the businesses of the financial district indeed have CCTV in relevant areas, and because this work of guerrilla art seemed to appear out of nowhere, speculation has renewed over bElish's identity. Are they Metahuman? ImPort? Government? A prototype clone??

HEART KAPOW CASH COW
As seen on gamer news blogs and financial publications:
There has been an ungodly amount of chatter over the NUMBER ONE DOWNLOADED dating sim game of all time HEART KAPOW WOW, and the usual film industry giants are already salivating over the chance to buy the rights to screen depicting this whimsical (and sometimes dark) app game. The problem? NO ONE KNOWS WHO THE CREATOR IS! Literally, a mystery! Attempts to dox the creator's identity by corporate and individual hackers alike have failed. Multiversal Pictures has put out an open call for the creator to being talking intellectual rights and purchase negotiations.

FIGHT FOR YOUR MIGHT TO PARTY
As seen on Bwitter, BlueTube, and Rumblr via the livestream content, and discussed on Maurtia Falls Tonight, as well as late night news:
This month, imPorts participated in televised charity matches as part of the government Swear-In event. These matches, dubbed Might Club, were intended as a friendly sparring event between imPorts and livestreamed for all those fans who wanted to see their favorite heroes duke it out. However, one fight in particular crossed into sheer brutality not appropriate for young viewers -- or anyone really.

The imPorts, identified as Dio Brando and Jotaro Kujo, got into what could only be described as a brawl to the death in front of the cameras after being matched up to each other. In one brutal moment of their clash, Jotaro Kujo and what could only be described as "a buff purple man" tore off Dio's arm straight off the joint! Dio Brando responded by ripping his claws at the man's face, damaging his left eye to the point of bleed-out, alongside "a buff yellow man." Better names to define these colorful fighters who assisted Jotaro and Dio respectively are still being debated!

Both men kept fighting until Jotaro Kujo collapsed from his injuries, unwilling to tap out or stop fighting until the breaking point. Dio Brando reattached his arm, coming out the clear winner of the brawl, and walked out victorious. He was quickly approached for comments by reporters on the scene about the brutality of the brawl. With a good natured laugh he explained that the two of them have a long-time rivalry, neither willing to back down, but that there was no intention of having it go so far. Ultimately the blame is on Jotaro Kujo for not tapping out when he was clearly losing.

Jotaro Kujo required immediate medical attention following the fight and was taken overnight to the hospital following the conclusion of the brawl. However he discharged himself in the morning, insisting to doctors he was better (despite needing a cane to walk and sporting an eyepatch.) When reached out for comments, he refused and threatened violence against any reporters who tried to bother him. Considering what was witnessed, it should be believed he means it.

Fan communities have now begun to dub the match "imPort Death Brawl: For Charity Edition" and eagerly await the next confrontation these two will have! Needless to say there is some bad blood between them that social media is already speculating on (and writing what can only be described as "hatefic" between them.)

LEPRECHAUN OR LEPRE-CON?
As seen originating on Bwitter, then watched on local Heropan news and TMI Tongiht:
A recent string of news incidents in Heropa, Florida have recently been connected to recent imPort arrival Mad Sweeney. Across social media, eagle-eyed imPort fans have compiled and circulated a likely list of reported events.
Florida man discovered sleeping in trunk of Catholic minister's car
Florida man challenged pizza delivery boy to fight when refused to provide change for antiquated gold coins
Florida man seen being chased by wild dogs through public cemetery
Wedding in disarray when unknown Florida man invited himself to public reception to eat cake
Drunk and disorderly Florida man removed from zoo for shouting obscenities at flamingos
Mad Sweeney could be reached for comment, but the amount of expletives within said comment cannot be circulated in reputable news outlets.

SWEAR JAR
As seen on national news stations, Maurtia Falls local news, major newspapers and their corresponding news content websites:
This month's government-provided pro-Registration Swear-In for the imPort community faced a rival gathering in the form of an imPort-organized Swear-Out rally, which encouraged the Unsettled path while protesting government policies toward imPorts. This level of imPort protest is unprecedented, and while both proceeded largely peacefully (a relief to many attendees, who recalled attacks and disasters at previous Swear-Ins) there were noted tensions and arguments on the border between the two parties.

Numerous imPorts, Metahumans, and ordinary natives were spotted at both events, including local heroes at the Swear-In and imPort fans at the Swear-Out. Businesses advertising at the Swear-In report a boost in interest in their wares, while the Might Club televised sparring matches garnered an impressive audience for friendly displays of imPort power while raising significant sums for charity. At the Swear-Out, the remarkable catering of Ken Kaneki and Raina caused a stir among attendees, although some complained about the presence of human blood on the menu and some of the more dramatic effects of Raina's genetically-brewed teas. Many of the ordinary citizens at the Swear-Out seemed to be less interested in politics than the chance for a free concert by the divine imPort performers Persephone and Inanna, who provided entertainment at the event.

The Swear-Out's Five-Point Petition has been submitted to the authorities and released to the media, expressing the concerns of dissatisfied imPorts. The petition calls for reform in the issues of Porter research, Registration, imPort justice, nanite injections, and imPort weaponization. Thirteen imPorts signed the document: Count Dooku, Tohru Adachi, Daryl Dixon, Yusuke Kitagawa, Futaba Sakura, Grievous, Utena Tenjou, Maeve Millay, Kaneki Ken, Cad Bane, Munehisa Iwai, Shinigami, and Haen Hithiel.

It should be noted that Shinigami witheld support for the petition's demand for Porter access, and that Daryl Dixon stated "Got no real problem with how Registration is done, but think the city-to-city porter system opened up to anyone's use so long as they aren't a known murderer or the like. UnRegistered don't mean they should have to go through hoops just to visit a friend."

ImPort entertainer and political figure Count Dooku was the principal organizer of the Swear-Out rally, and proclaimed it a 'grand success' when speaking to reporters. "Today, we have sent a clear message to the world that imPorts and their friends want change," he stated. "I offer my deepest gratitude to all who attended and supported this important event. It could not have taken place without the help of many who contributed."

Utena Tenjou was seen attending the Swear-Out and signing the petition. When approached for comment, she fumbled for words, seemingly unused to speaking to the media, before saying: "Look, most of the people I've met here have been nice, but - there's people here who don't really see us as people, you know? They see us as weapons or things or... or guinea pigs. We're more than that, and we aren't going to let them push us around."

While initially declining to comment, after signing the Swear Out petition, Tohru Adachi had this to say: "I'm here for the native population; it's why I decided to be a private investigator. But people are getting pulled in and out of here against their will. Many of us imPorts don't want to stay here, but we have no choice but to accept it, and accept government surveillance. It's oppressive, and we should have the right to choose if we're the ones being dragged out of our normal lives."

ImPort Daryl Dixon was seen in attendance at both events. When asked his thoughts on the protest, he showed some support for it, saying, "Think we should get a choice in the whole nanite thing. Don't know if anyone high enough up'll listen, but ain't nothin' wrong with raising some voices and tryin'." Daryl is still a Registered imPort, however, and when asked if he'd be giving up his registration said he saw no reason to.

When asked her thoughts about the Swear-Out, Kanaya Maryam gave reporters a very flat look before responding. "Are we really doing this nonsense? I thought we'd grown past this level of fearmongering when Kate Bishop graciously [ported out]. Their sense of timing couldn't possibly be worse." Ms. Maryam's comments were edited to remove expletives before publication.

Haen Hithiel was in attendance at both events, and when asked for a comment regarding the petition/protest responded that "ImPorts have had many choices taken from them by being brought here without their consent, being injected with nanites, and being under surveillance and restrictions. I think it would go a long way if the government took steps to give us back what choices they can... it would help make us feel more like we have a legitimate place in this world, rather than feeling like distrusted intruders."

Asked about his thoughts on the Swear-Out, registered imPort Han Solo laughed in the reporter's face and told them, "I'm not here for a revolution, I'm just here for their food. Go ask somebody who cares about this." There are also reports that, under the influence of one of the teas on offer at the Swear-Out, he later ended up challenging multiple people to a race before someone took him up on the offer, resulting in Solo being arrested for disturbing the peace.

(Poe Dameron was the one who took him up on the race, and had perfect hair the whole time.)

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from WENGE to FULVOUS.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017Native sentiment centralized in the east coast has been growing for a governmental response to the recent imPort-centric chaos. The government, ever protective of imPorts, has been reluctant to set down any new regulations -- but constituents have been calling their congresspeople.

HE KANGED, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED
As seen on BlueTube (via cellphone footage), Bwitter, Rumblr, and Heropean local news:
Some of the clone mayhem has been put to a stop in an explosive manner, thanks to the draconian imPort Kang. The amateur footage shows him cornering his own clone in an alley several blocks from a restaurant favored by locals. Kang is heard shouting for others to back away before shooting energy darts out of his hand, killing the double troublemaker on the spot. The body then reduces to bones and explodes as if they were made of dynamite, much to the surprise of the onlookers. No others were hurt, and there was minimal damage to nearby property.

According to Kang, before the video ends, this is completely normal for his race.

There had been reports of this clone starting fights in several bars and espousing imPort and non-human superiority. He has also been linked to three local deaths. No official statements have been made by the police as of yet.

AIN'T NO SNOWFLAKE
As seen in national newspapers and De Chima televised channels:
A new shelter is being opened by former ambassador candidate Jon Snow. While De Chima has a number of shelters in use, Lord Snow has promised that his will not only be located outside of the city, but will provide housing not only for the homeless, but for the imPorts currently without support and between jobs. He's stated in recent interviews that the shelter will provide assistance in finding more permanent housing and jobs, as well as teaching the residents of the shelter valuable tools to help them in various careers. Donations and supplies are requested, delivered to Snow's office between the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

"We are in this together," Snow has told reporters. "We need to band together, all of us. It's the only way our city will thrive."

ABSOLUTELY SIMFUL
As seen on BlueTube play-by videos, local Heropa news, Rumblr, and in internet ads:
There's a new mobile app that has been causing something of a stir amongst natives. Launched just this week, HEART KAPOW WOW is an app that enables natives to embrace the ImPort experience... via dating sim. The game is available to anyone interested for a small fee, but the most interesting thing is that some of the dating options might seem a little familiar. Players have the option to go with a number of dating routes, and live either a heroic or villainous life. More information on the game and uncanny dating options is available here!

SELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
As seen in entertainment magazines and the official TMI blogosphere:
Reality stars Noah Czerny (of "True Afterlife") and Ronan Lynch (one half of the duo from ETV's "fuckups & tryhards") have taken to BlueTube in a series of videos depicting the boys performing tricks and stunts with novelty toys in the shape of male genitalia. As of this report, the videos have over one million views. Whether the viral performance is a spontaneous act by the boys or a calculated move on the part of UCCY INC Network in an attempt to merge its popular teen imPort franchises remains a point of debate on entertainment news sites and forums. Both boys, who are roommates and make cameo appearances on their respective programs, have a large following on Imstagram and recently toured London as guests of the British government in celebration of a new trade deal between the US and UK.

THELMA AND OH GEEZ
As seen on Rumblr discourse, in Bwitter threads, and watched on on TMI Tonight:
SPOTTED: Daenerys Targaryen giving a statement to police called to the site of her recent fender-bender. Her passenger at the time of the accident was friend and sometime collaborator Gwen Wynne-York, to whom she was overheard remarking, "I think we won that".

Ms Wynne-York could not be reached for comment but was reportedly struggling to contain her laughter.

Ms Targaryen is rumored to have settled with the other party.

ROW ROW ROW AND BOATS
As seen on imPort Message boards, Community Interest News Stories, Boating Enthusiasts Newsletters:
A heated argument has broken out among Boater Enthusiasts the last few weeks. It's not quite an all out battle, but races have been tossed around as a possibility. The Prize? Having imPort Riptide sign off as the mascot of whichever club wins! So far no word has come from Riptide himself as to which club he supports, but Heropa's two largest clubs, Pier Pressure and Schooner or Laker have been making some waves. Only time will tell if the riptides will turn in their favor, or if they'll be washed out to sea.

BAEB IN PLOYLAND?
As seen on all Maurtia Falls news channels:
On July 21st, imPort ambassador Petyr Baelish officially announced he would be running for mayor in an interview with the Maurtia Falls Times. The signs had been there for quite a while what with him running regular town hall meetings and drumming up support in the education and business communities, but up until now he had been rather coy when asked about his ambitions. When prompted about whether this would mean he would step down from his ambassadorial position, Baelish responded he had no plans to step down unless he secures the office and he believes he would be fully capable of devoting his time to his fellow imPorts as well as running his campaign.

Current mayor Tony Cardelli seemed unconcerned about Baelish's announcement. "While I can greatly appreciate the works Ambassador Baelish has put into place during the time he's served this city, I think the people of Maurtia Falls will know better than to appoint an imPort in the role of mayor. And that's nothing against his capabilities, but quite simply being an imPort always runs a risk of them spontaneously vanishing or otherwise leaving the city at risk. Look at what happened to our city just this past week because of imPorts. And I could go on record naming numerous times imPorts have been the cause of our city's problems. Because of this, I am confident I will be reelected for a second term." Cardelli told Channel 7 News in a press conference after the clone catastrophe.

Even so, many cars have been spotted around the city with a single mockingbird bumper sticker in solidarity with Petyr Baelish, his town hall meetings have been seeing a dramatic increase of foot traffic, and whether it's the work of the famed guerrilla artist or copycats -- the message "embElish maurtia falls" has been cropping up in gold spray paint all across the city. It's clear that Ambassador Baelish has drummed up quite a bit of support quicker than anyone realized, and it seems as though Cardelli will be forced to take his campaign seriously.

On August 18th at 7:00pm, Mayor Cardelli and Mayor-Hopeful Baelish will be going head to head in their first town hall debate. The citizens of Maurtia Falls are encouraged to come ask questions or air out their grievances.

POKEDISASTER
As seen on BlueTube, Rumblr:
What appears to be the imPorts Blue and Archie, seen here, having a battle of pocket monsters in the middle of London. IN CONSEQUENCE of this intense one-on-one, a large, poisonous sludge-strewn crater was left in their wake. Disaster!

Dragged off by their respective Pokémon, these brawling trainers might have gotten away with it anonymous -- but imPort Niko recorded it and uploaded it onto BlueTube page. What!

TIME TO MANABU UP
As seen in Nonah local papers:
Seen as a kind of goodwill effort by some (or tasteless infiltration by others), imPort Manabu was interviewed by local journalist Jacknard Pulley regarding his induction into the North Carolina Nonah Division Police Academy. Manabu has stated that, to quote, "he's hoping his actions will speak for themselves; he wants to help everyone, imPort and local alike".

The article itself was published in multiple papers, as Pulley is a freelance journalist. A feel-good piece that has been criticized as imPort propaganda by anonymous users on Bwitter has nevertheless found some support within the Nonah community.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COQUELICOT to WENGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

knaval

[despite being in his robot form for the video, riptide is very clearly disturbed, but trying to cover it up with a faux grin.]

Earth is buggered!

[...oh.]

I just found out one of the DJD is here-- Vos. Tailgate, you around? I think we gotta find out a way to cut and run.

[riptide knows, deep down, he should save the humans in a situation like this. like autobots are supposed to, like skids said to megatron, but he's too scared to even consider staying and fighting the djd. that would be suicide. he's being a coward, and he hates it.]

Everyone else! It was nice knowing you. Sorry about your planet. Maybe try to focus on space flight before the rest of the DJD show up and kill you all?

jalan

[ Unlike most instances when Daenerys addresses the network or those on it individually, she is more practical today than pretty. Intricate braids decorate her hair, but they likewise serve a purpose to control silver waves and keep them lashed down. Her face is clear of makeup, and her garments, leather and wool, are better suited for adventuring than high fashion.

Behind her, a late afternoon Virginian landscape from on high, as if she has climbed Whitetop Mountain just to make her pronouncement. ]

In light of recent attacks and violences against our little minority, I'm moved to address the fact that my imPort bodyguard has since been vanished home again. [ Feelings on the subject are mild, or have already been processed, practical in the moment. ] I envy her. And I've yet to determine whether appointing another is necessary, but--

[ The wind swamps her speakers, and she squints against it while it endures, before she starts again. ]

But I would be remiss if I did not learn how to defend myself. If there are those among you both adept at physical defense as well as willing to teach someone who is not, I'd like to come to an arrangement. I've no instinct for weaponry, [ she adds, to fend off the prospect of sword lessons and the like. ] But I would welcome the advice.

I hope you all remain safe. We have but one another.

[ Her message finishes with an understated smile, and an odd sound in the background, an animal, bass-deep purr, that some would recognise as to belonging to a dragon. Most may just think it to be more noise interference. She ends the transmission there. ]

buile

tits
tit pictures
blonde girl tits
american tits
( what do you mean this isn't the google function )

MASK OR MENACE

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March 2021

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