maskormenace | Entries tagged with † croach

March 2021

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WILL YOU HELP SAVE THE WORLD?

Mask or Menace is a panfandom urban 'superhero' genre DWRP game, where heroes, villains, and everyone in between seek to survive and thrive in a world loosely parallel to our own.

lackey

[Mike's first audio network post is a little noisy: there's a busy road somewhere near him and, every once in a while, a small-sounding dog barks.]

Lost another month, last month. Hear 'bout that happenin' a lot. Good thing, though. If you didn't know it was happenin' to other people, too, might start thinkin' that you were goin' nuts. Or that the government was screwin' with you. Or that you got abducted by aliens... After gettin' abducted by the god machine. That'd be somethin'.

Anyway.

I was gonna ask what happened last month, but I figured I could just guess what happened. So, guessin' now.

[He clears his throat, coughs lightly.]

Last month! October? Starts out real quiet, just like it is now. Then, around the middle of the month, the Russians show up. I mean, show up. Like in boats. You ever see that movie with the guys? The guys wearin' short shorts and capes? There were like 200 or 400 of 'em or something. But in the movie, the big enemy army all showed up in boats. The guys look out at the ocean and it's like shit, that's a lot of boats. That's how it was last month. With the Russians.

Then there's a big battle, right? US soldiers and heroes versus Russians. And it lasts like a week? No, two weeks. Two weeks for sure. Total bloodbath. People dyin' all over. The soldiers and you heroes are puttin' up one hell of a fight, but the Russians keep comin'. There's just so many of 'em and it turns out they've got those power-blockin' things?

By the end of the month, they're winnin'. They're winnin' and they're about to take over.

[A pause for effect.]

Why don't they? 'Cause a hero stops 'em. He gets clear of their uh... blockin' things... And this hero has like... You ever see that other movie about the guy with the, uh... knife thing? Full of sand? Magic sand? And that guy could rewind time with his magic sand knife? That's what this hero did. Except like a power instead of a knife. Or maybe he had that knife? Or a similar knife? Don't know if the movie was based on a true story or not. Probably not. Sometimes they do that, they tell you it's based on a true story and they're lyin'...

But yeah. That's my guess. Which means it's not November now, it's still October, and you guys probably only have a couple days before the Russians show up again? Kinda sucks, if I'm right. I'd keep an eye out for those boats if I were you.

burnseternal

Good afternoon.

[Hey there, Mask or Menace. Greeting you today is someone who's distinctly alien in nature, from his smooth, pale skin to his wide, black, bug-like eyes blinking fondly into the camera, two sets of eyelids flitting across them as he blinks, one after the other.]

I have been informed that this device is used to communicate with those of you who share my circumstances. That said, it is very nice to meet you all! This is my first time on Earth, and I must say, it's quite remarkable. [He takes a moment to glance off-camera for but a moment. It's clear from the backdrop that he's sitting on a rooftop, and that he's looking down at the streets below.] Quite remarkable indeed... though, as I've been thoroughly informed, many find my appearance to be just as remarkable. It is an Earth custom, perhaps, to confront those who look unusual in such a frank manner.

[He doesn't sound too unhappy about that fact, however; to the contrary, his eyes crease as he gives the communicator a merry little smile.]

I must admit, however, that all this smoke and concrete isn't quite to my tastes. If any of you have found a sanctuary from the city, I would be glad to hear it. Some trees, I think, would do this place some good.

inchesofevil

[Duncan looks like a perfectly ordinary Earth dude, if you ignore the fact that he's dressed in some fancy looking leather armour that makes him look like he walked straight out of a fantasy MMO. Mostly what's visible is the gold mantle of his cape and a black hood, both trimmed with white. He's got the hood pulled up, but it doesn't hide his face. Behind him, you can see the obvious decor of a bar.]

So, I would be doing this over text, but apparently good keyboard layouts and slide-out keyboard phones haven't been invented yet and this is too fucking urgent for me to have the patience for that shit.

[deep breath, intense look into the camera]

How the fuck are you supposed to get drunk with a healing factor in the way?

I timed it. I fucking timed it! Three shots, completely sober in five minutes. [he holds up five fingers to emphasize that] Five minutes! That's fucking ridiculous! How am I supposed to live like this?!

[With a frustrated groan, he sets the phone down against the table; the picture goes black and stays that way for a few seconds.]

[then he lifts it back up and gives the camera a more subdued, resigned look]

Heimdall, by the way. Welcome to here, me, I guess.

quantifies

[It's a nice day in Maurtia Falls, as nice days in Maurtia Falls go. In any case, appearing on the network are one (1) native of G'loot Proktaw (you would designate it Mars) who is holding one (1) cute kitty as he climbs down from a tree.]

Greetings, fellow imPorts. If we have not spoken before, I am Croach the Tracker.

[Obviously, for those who are paying attention to network IDs, but he has learned that introductions are a polite human ritual, and the be impolite would incur onus.]

As many beings arrive at and depart from this iteration of Earth, I would like to alert this network once again that I am available to assist with locating any beings or objects that are lost. My twenty-eight senses make it extremely easy for me to track things, hence my secondary designator. My services would not require payment; you would merely be under a variable amount of onus to me, which you could repay through providing your own services or goods.

[Bartering, basically.]

Please contact me if you would like to have something tracked. I am employed as an Animal Control Officer, but the speed with which I track strayed animals has given me an excess of spare time. [Speaking of which...he lifts the cat into a more direct view, glancing at its collar.] However, I cannot track those about whom I know nothing. If you are the owner of a cat designated "Fluffy," I possess her here.

increscents

So I'm not really one for the whole touchy-feely/deep philosophy stuff usually. [ Which... is probably why she's doing this by text and not audio or video. ]

I've just had something on my mind for awhile, and maybe someone else out there is going through the same thing.

I've heard the spiel about how time usually resumes when you get home, so I know I'm not missing anything at home. But how do some of you deal with being away from your family? Especially for people who have been here for a long time.

Yeah. So that's all.

Thanks, I guess.

dumbfound

[ Junseo's got the camera a little too close to his face as he holds it above his head while he dramatically splays across a sofa in an apartment that isn't his. ]

Uhm so...

[ Twisting the communicator so he can show off the room around him, the image shakes heavily for a bit as he sits up. ]

This is Jin Jinseok's apartment, only he's not in it.

[ Back to his face. ]

He only just got here, so he can't be gone yet.

[ Boy is that a hint of desperation in his voice? It sure is! ]

Someone has to have seen him, right? He is really short [ or just a little under average. ], and he doesn't like to wear full shirts or any shirts if he doesn't have to, and he likes to talk about himself a lot.

[ He'll be staring down the screen now, a worried look on his face, hoping someone's gonna have some good news for him. ]

bassriff

[Oh hey, it's Marceline! Apparently. The camera's not really pointed at her.

Instead it's at a weird sort-of-upwards angle, showing high pines and a clear starry night. She's well away from the city, wherever she is. Off-screen, she's strumming a certain riff.]

I feel so stuck here. Not... here, here. This is, like - I think I'm in Washington State? - I mean in this world. But I've never stayed in one place this long. Not in... well, it's been a while, anyway. A long while. I'm pretty sure I've already seen most of the cool junk in this country. [She trails off, mentally moving her comm so people can see her. She's got her ax-bass in her grip, and she's leaned up against some wolves, all resting and half-asleep. They're definitely comfortable with her, anyway.

She looks a little worse for wear - hair even wilder than usual - probably with a few twigs or leaves in it - dirt all over, some scuffs and rips in her clothes. And is that some dried blood smeared around her mouth? Might be. A little bit. ... Yes. IT'S NOT HUMAN BLOOD OKAY. Red stuff is hard to come by out here. All in all, another reckless adventure, one she's been out on for a few days now. She's been vanishing on trips like this more and more since she got hit with fear toxin, flying out somewhere into the wilderness. Somewhere, anywhere she can be alone.

Marceline finally stops playing, wiping at her mouth. She's unfocused, venting.]

I shouldn't need anyone's permission to travel where I want, and I'm definitely not a hero. Never have been. Some of you peeps saw that last month. [When she attacked a bunch of people during Fearfest.] I just want to be an artist. Go where the wind takes me.

[She's quiet for a long moment, tilting her head back to look at the sky and sprawling her arms out over two of her wolf buddies.]

... They're gonna blow themselves up, and I don't wanna be here when it happens. [Again.] Come on, any of you brainlords any closer to getting us home? Is Lachesis feeling chatty?

nagachika

SO, HEY. Hideyoshi here, nice t'meetcha new faces and old and all those niceities, but seriously--I have a really important question here.

Like, super dire. I might die if I don't get a proper answer, so have a heart and give a guy a good answer, okay--?!

Alright, here it is:

...October is next month. October is Halloween. Back home, never did go trick-or-treating because it was honestly an American ideal, you know? But look--look--

We're here now, right?? Do you think it'd be awful for an imPort to go trick or treating?? [He leans into the phone a little, a hand to his mouth, like he's imparting a secret.]

Or d'ya wanna make a group an' go trick or treating with me?
Promise I won't use my superspeed t'get more candies than you guys, alright??

inmyothertights

[Please witness a one Billy Kaplan. He is covered - well, not head to toe, but there's plenty of uh-

...sewage, let's just say, smeared on him. In varying degrees. It's gross. At least this video doesn't have smell-o-vision. But whatever, he looks exhausted.]

Okay.

Okay, I fixed it, you guys can relax around your toilets now, okay? They should all be not-alive anymore. If there are any that are still chomping or trying to murder people, let me know, but seriously, if that's the case, that might not be my magic.

[He runs his hand through his hair and realizes-]

Oh, that's disgusting-

[And the video cuts out.]

[ooc: thank you for participating in this dumb plot! With this post, all toilets should be no longer alive, but wherever they were when his spell broke is where they'll stay until moved back. Feel free to harass him to help move things where they belong!! Also, any destruction caused by the toilets has not been fixed, either.]

timeshares

[The young man on the video feed gives the communicator a casual, easy smile, only interrupted by a ugly scar running down his face. He's leaning on one elbow and looks for all the world as if this whole situation is really funny.]

So, from what I'm getting we're here to save the world from another part of the world and all that. I'm not gonna knock that; it sounds like a good deal.

It's just, you know, the file left out something really important to the whole do-gooder atmosphere: a superhero name. I know. You're probably as shocked as I am. That's everything with franchise rights. There's action figures at stake here. Card games! [Checks something on another screen, quickly.] And ... donuts, apparently.

Not that I've got any great ideas, but I'll take suggestions if you've got em.

textualhealing

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

forcewound

I'm Meetra Surik. I'm new. I'm lost. A few things:

1. I can't believe you guys have more books than digital records. Talk about analog. Can somebody please suggest a good history book to get any idea of where/when/what the hell is going on?

2. How come there are no spaceships? How are you supposed to go to other planets? Are you seriously implying we're stuck here?

3. This whole Hero registration thing. Sell it to me. Why should I? Why should anyone? Would've been nice if I had been asked in the first place.

4. Nonah #2, I need some directions.

5. Is the term "Jedi" familiar to anyone here?

That would be all for now.

lackey

hey ppl . ppl i kno & ppl i dont kno. havnt said hey 2 evrybody in a long time. sry bout that. rly should say hey more ofen. just dont usualy have anything else 2 say u kno ? like u cant just b like

hey

& then put that on the net

ppld b like wat ?
cant just say hey dude
gotta say sumthin else

&thats my prob. nuthin else 2 say. xcept 2day ! 2day ive been here 1 yr. 1 yr minus 1 month. hopin i dont lose dec this yr. i like dec. gonna b my kids 1st bday in dec. still dont kno if kids a boy or girl. if gov decides 2 give xmas presents 2 imports mayb they could send sum info getin god machene 2 my world 4 me. get that info. a dads gotta kno u kno. but id setl 4 just getin 2 see dec. not picky.

anyway other stuff. lost my phone thing 4 a wile there. thoght sumbody stole it. but then i found it undr my new bed. doesnt mean it wasnt stoln. sumbody or sumbodys like a group of ppl ( & im not sayin the gov i mean more like a bunch of rusians go usa ) coulda taken it & checkd whats on it & then put it back. mayb a group of ppl do that w / all the phone things. wile ur sleepin or w / ur girl or guy or w /e . ( im still sayin rusians not gov ) ( rly sneeky rusians )

guess thats all 4 now. nice 2 meet u newer not here 4 1 yr minus 1 month ppl. im mike. i kno it says that on my mesages but i still like sayin it.

And to keep people from thinking my brain is quitting on me here is me typing normal and using the spell checker.

( takes 4ever 2 txt like that )

calibrating

[The feed introduces us to a face that isn't unlike a nightmare chicken dinosaur hybrid with a bunch of sharp teeth and weird mandibles that occasionally flare as he talks. It's super attractive, everyone, really.]

So, this is Earth, huh?

I expected it to look a bit more... I dunno. On fire. Long story, but just for the record, I'm thankful that isn’t the case.

[He pauses for a moment, clearly on edge despite the lackadaisical tone to his voice. Someone isn't happy to be here, but hey, at least he's doing his best to be somewhat diplomatic about it. For now.]

Do I have to do the whole 'we come in peace' thing I've seen in some of your human vids, or will you all believe me if I say I'm not psychotic? Maybe I should throw in some wacky catchphrase you all seem to love so much.

[Another pause, probably for dramatic effect, but who knows with this jerk.]

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m one of the new imPorts or whatever name you give people taken against their will. Name’s Garrus. You’re not going to get much else.

So, now that I’ve gone through the whole initiation process, what I want to know is what’s this nonsense I’m hearing about a group called Archangel causing trouble. Just a brief summary, and not what I’m hearing here and there.

Sound fair? Good. Let’s chat.

redplainsrider

[Camera is on and there's Red, hat and all, looking fairly peeved.]

Y'know, things were rough enough in Maurtia Falls afore people decided to stir the pot when the pot were already spillin' over. Fer awhile there I were dealin' with land sharks when I went patrolin', y'all. Land. Sharks.

Now, I know I sound madder than a hornet, 'cause I am, but it ain't about all'a that. All'a that I can deal with. Naw, what's got me so pushed over the edge is the fact I can no longer go outside with my bo--g-guy . . . friend--[Can she properly call Croach her boyfriend at this point? She sure isn't going to call him an onal partner, knowing how immature some folks on the network are.]--guy friend an' not havin' folks lookin' or jeerin' at 'im fer not bein' human; an imPort. An' if he's gettin' treated like that, then that means others gotta be, too. Probably innocent folks with less reserve than Croach, whose feelin's are gettin' hurt or they're a-scared to go out in the open without havin' to make themselves look human. Ain't no one that should have to hide what they are.

[She pauses to sigh, hand going to rub the bridge of her nose.] Reckon I should get to the point. [Lowers her hand to look into the camera as stoic and calm as possible.] I were part of a group here, thinkin' it'd be good to team up with others what could do things I ain't so good at doin'--I ain't truly an investigator or a spy, fer instance. But in the end, what good is bein' in a group if you didn't know who you could trust.

So I'm on my own again. I ain't 'bout to stop helpin' folks, even if the criminal element start throwin' out land whales next. Even if the government punishes the whole city fer the actions of a politician-type gettin' too big for his breeches. So, if any of ya are in need of some helpin', whether it be natives harrassin' ya or some jerk just stole yer TV, you can give me a call. Or if any of ya have need of someone to help ya track or take down a nefarious sort, in any city, give me a call, too--only if'n ya have good evidence, of course. I ain't foolish enough to jump into somethin' on someone's supposed good word.

[Beat.] An' before some other smart alec says it, yes, ya can call me if'n your roomba is actin' up. I am still workin' fer 'em. [Another beat. How do you end a post of this sort? Uh...] Uh. Bye.

hot4engines

[Kaylee looks like she's been working already, even though it's morning; she has a pair of sturdy goggles resting on her head, and her face is sweaty and smudged with oil and dirt. However, she's as cheerful as ever.]

I been workin' on a project, and it's got me to thinking about something. Now, I ain't from Earth- I'm from the future... well, I guess it should be a future where humans left her behind and settled elsewhere. I live and travel on a spaceship, and while it's totally normal for me... I'm kinda at a loss sometimes as to how to explain it to folks who don't even know there's somethin' beyond the sky.

It's somethin' that comes up for me a lot, so... other folks who know about space traveling, how would you talk about it?

cassassin

[there are two posts to the network, one after another. she's been struggling with navigating the communicator for a while now, but she thinks she's managed to bruteforce the basics of the interface. a young woman speaks up, apparently the camera's only got the top of her head in frame.]

Um... hello? Is this thing... wait... [she stops the broadcast, playing it back for herself before she starts another post. this time it's aimed properly, and she's definitely sure it's going. Cassandra's sitting outside a beachside cafe in Heropa on a bright and sunny afternoon. wearing a tacky pair of cheap sunglasses with the Flash's symbol on them - imPort tourist crap at its finest - and drinking a cold bubble tea.

best to play the naive newcomer swept up by all this hero stuff.]

Hi. I'm Cassandra. I've been... lurking? [is that the word she wants...] For a few days now. Settling in. I have to say, this is... different, next to Gotham and Blüdhaven.

Hi, roommates, if you're... watching this. I haven't been around. Sorry. Between work, and... rehearsal, it's-- [she shrugs. surely they know how it is. or at least, they might think they do, which is good enough for her. looong sip from her straw.]

Anyway. I know some of the... names I've heard, but I've also heard we have... alternate universes? Even among us. What can you tell me?

quantifies

Hello, Earth humans and imPorts from other planets. I would like to appeal to your collective knowledge. During the epidemic of the illness designated 'Flare' last month, it became clear to me that I am not adequately armed, and the technology of this era is far below what I'm used to.

[This is not meant to be an insult to natives of this era, of course. It is not their fault they live in an inferior time.]

However, many of you have extrachronal knowledge. Are any of you capable of constructing a quantum bow and techno arrows? I would be happy to describe their functions in detail if that is helpful. I would repay any assistance through onus or currency.

[His alien face appears eager, cooperative. Doesn't this blue guy look like someone you'd want to help out?]

I would also like to know whether any of you have experienced such epidemics in your world. In the universe from which The Red Plains Rider and I originate, a similar infection transforms beings into MurderMen. The Flare resembled a primitive strain of the MurderMan virus. I am curious to know whether it is common to multiple worlds.

goblinish

Everyone, anyone. [ Said like it's a commonly used greeting. ]

[ The man sounds cheerful, energetic, and mildly perplexed. ] Some help would be appreciated--nothing major, I'm just trying to find a condiment. I've been to multiple stores in Maurtia Falls and asked the employees, but I cannot find any garum. This is unacceptable, because humanish food tastes strange enough as it is. I know there's some out there, somewhere--there has to be! It's the one thing humans and goblins could always agree on: rotting fish tastes amazing.

I really don't know where else to ask. You're from all sorts of places, I'm sure someone can help me out here. In case the problem is just that I'm using the wrong name for it: what I'm talking about is fermented fish juice.

((OOC: aaaand just in case your character might know but you don't, or if you're just curious: garum.))

redplainsrider

Okay, y'all, two things.

One: Thanks to those what helped me outta some sticky situations when I were a kid. Not that I wouldn't'a been able to handle those situation on my own, but I appreciate the kindness of strangers and not-strangers.

Two: I got a lot'a free time on my hands, what with my time not bein' takin' up by many of the things I did back home. Reckon I might expand my horizons by readin' some, an' I went into a book store an', bah gropa, I ain't never seen so many books in one place not written by the same gal. Didn't know where to start! It was mighty oppressive. . . . There were even a section called Vampire Teen Romance, what is that even? Huh!

I suppose the long way round to what I'm sayin' here is: any recommendations?

MASK OR MENACE

NETWORK COMMUNITY

Entries tagged with † croach | the tracker

March 2021

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WILL YOU HELP SAVE THE WORLD?

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